A new start….or just a refresh???

Sometimes you need to take a step back and look at where you are, and where you want to be. I’m on a journey to lose weight and get healthy, and I’m getting there slowly but surely….and sometimes I need to realise that it’s ok to take it slow.

I’ve lost weight quickly before and it’s come straight back on and I’ve added some. However this time, there is something inside that is different, I really want this to happen. It’s not all about the weight loss- my main reason was to get healthy and to try and reverse some of the damage that I have done to my body.

Since I began this journey in January, I have lost weight, dropped dress sizes and most importantly I no longer have to take insulin for my diabetes. This is a major step forward in my journey to be healthy, but is only a stepping stone to my end goal.

This post probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but it’s just what was in my head tonight and I wanted to get it down.

Have a great week all – whatever you do – do your best and have fun!

Monday Musings

It’s been a very busy month – hence the lack of posts. However, hopefully things will start to settle and I can get back to some normality.

I sit here thinking about life, nothing too deep but just life in general. It’s a bit of a cliche but life really is what you make it! I need to get my life running back in the direction I want it to be, I appear to be stuck at a red traffic light, not going backwards but not going forwards either.

So what do I need to change to change that light to green?

I need to put myself first and get my sorry backside back in the gym.

I need to get my house straight and clear a load of clutter.

I need to appreciate how far I’ve come and how well I’ve done health wise.

I need to get my study brain in as I’m about to start my OU degree.

I think that’ll do for now – I’ll be back to post again real soon!!!

Life is for living…..

I think sometimes we take life for granted – always believing that there is another time to say sorry or to call that person you’ve been meaning to call. However, sometimes life catches up with us and we never get the chance to tell that person how we feel or to make right whatever was wrong.

This week I’ve learnt of the passing of someone who I hadn’t spoken to in years, and although we didn’t have a fight or part on bad terms, it left me thinking- should I have made an effort to stay in touch??

Life can be full of regrets…of things we should have done, and things we should have said….

So my resolution is to get back in touch with people I keep saying I should cat h up with…..how about you?

It’s all about self belief….

So here I am again – this post is being written whilst I’m on holiday in Zurich. The weather on the whole has been fantastic – just one rain shower and I’m spending the weekend with a very good friend!

The weekend has been one of self-realisation. I am now more aware of what I can and can’t do – and am more prepared to push myself.

This was never more obvious than today – my friend and I decided to climb a mountain! Well we are in Switzerland after all!!!!! We took the train and then started the climb – straight away I felt the burn in my chest as I walked up the first very steep part. I stopped to catch my breath and the old thoughts of “you can’t do this” were ringing on my head. (Indeed on previous walks last year that would have been the case and I would have turned round and gone back)

This time I took some time to catch my breath and carried on – we walked to the top and along some very hilly paths and I am proud to say that I achieved the walk I planned!!!

So it really is all about mindset, believe in yourself and what you can do….it really will come true!

What will you do over the next few days to challenge what you previously believed of yourself??

Success – embrace it!

I’m one of those people who love to congratulate people on their successes, be they physical or mental. However when it comes to taking credit for my own success- it’s a totally different story.

As you may or may not know I have lost some weight over the last six months,and friends have been very kind when mentioning it…..but all I say is “I’m trying” rather than just taking the congratulations as a positive thing.

Why are some people (especially me) so bad at taking positive feedback, whereas others take it and revel in it???

Is it that those who celebrate their own successes are just more confident overall, that they are truly chuffed with what they have achieved, and those of us who can’t – lack self belief in what we have done???

I am trying to be more positive in what I see, but it’s not something that will change overnight or even in months. Confidence is a very personal thing, and sometimes people aren’t as confident as you may think. Sometimes the loudest person on the room is actually the most insecure and lacking in confidence.

So today be nice to each other and maybe we can all start to love ourselves a little bit more.

Tuesday’s Thoughts

Life – it’s a funny thing…..sometimes you can have everything going your way and you still are not happy, other times your life can be troublesome and things not going your way but it’s ok – you can brush it all off…

What affects us as humans can vary from person to person, day to day and even minute to minute. Stress is a very personal thing and again affects everyone differently.

Looking at myself – sometimes I thrive on the pressure and stress in my life and actually enjoy the situation. On other days something that can seem so trivial – causes serious amounts of stress and make it feel like life is ending.

How we cope is all important- sometimes you can’t go to pieces and bury your head in the sand, life has to go on. On other days, you need to do just that, not necessarily ignoring the problem forever but spending a period of time, relaxing and putting the issue on the back burner.

Food always plays a massive part in my emotional state, I eat when I’m sad,angry, tired, happy – you name an emotion food is probably involved somewhere. I think that this is the key to my weight loss journey – I need to control my emotional eating.

So the question is – how do you cope with stress – and stop yourself diving headfirst into a tub of ice cream.

Moving forward….one step at a time!

I know it’s been a while since I posted – and that’s because I have been spending time focussing on me.

In general my journey is moving forward but like all journeys sometimes you have to take a few steps back to realise how far you’ve actually come.

I’m nowhere near the end of my journey but this week I’ve made so much progress in how I feel and understanding myself.

Over the last two weeks I have been in self-destruct mode and not really cared about looking after myself. I could see no real point in carrying on, with the end so far away. Some good friends have made me see how far I have come and that it is worth carrying on, it’s been a tough two weeks but I’m moving past it.

In addition and my final point is that my personal trainer needs a mention, he is always available to help me and in his words “it’s not just about the two hours a week” – I can say that without him I would have fallen at the very first hurdle.

Check him out at

https://m.facebook.com/TomMarchPT/?locale2=en_GB

Or on instagram @tommarchpt

Auschwitz – my reflections…..

Hubby and I travelled to Poland and the beautiful city of Krakow recently. We stayed for four days and generally had a wonderful time – more on that in another post.

Before travelling we booked an excursion to Auschwitz – the largest Nazi Concentration Camp. Everyone we told we were going had an intake of breath – and I understand that. Some people go on holiday to relax and just have a good time, and others can’t bear thinking about what happened there.

Just want to add, I’m not judging anyone who chooses not to visit!

My view, was that if I didn’t go whilst visiting Krakow, it would be like I was trying to block out or deny what had happened. So we booked to go with a company called Escape2Poland and the service was first class.

We were collected from our hotel and transported to the main Auschwitz camp – en route we watched a DVD with some information and historical images of the camps. If I’m being honest, just the DVD made me feel nauseous and sad.

We arrived at the camp and were processed through the security, including bag searches and scanners similar to the ones at the airport. We were then given a little radio box so that we could all hear what our guide was saying as he walked us round. Walking through the gate, the image of which is iconic, was surreal. Knowing what happened beyond that gate, and what I was about to see, I was apprehensive.

As we walked round and the reality of what happened hit me, I started to feel more and more sorrowful, and got a little tearful. Obviously I was aware of what had happened before I went there, but actually being there and seeing the piles of shoes and other personal effects, and seeing how they were kept, it made it all seem so real.

The place that really got me, was the final stop on this part of the tour, the gas chamber and crematorium, where thousands of people died. There was a feeling about that room that I don’t think will ever leave me. The tour guide spoke outside before we went in and then we entered in silence, for such an empty room, it was full of feelings.

We then made our way to AUSCHWITZ II – BIRKENAU, this was the camp where people arrived by train and the decision if they lived or died was made on a platform with the swipe of a man’s hand. I thought that this would affect me more, but I actually felt nothing….it was almost like I was numb. It’s hard to describe, the only way I can explain it is that because the buildings were destroyed and it’s quite a blank place until you get to the memorial, it’s hard to picture the evil that happened there and maybe it’s a little bit of not being able to comprehend how it could have happened.

We walked to the memorial where there were plaques in all of the languages, of people who had died there. This is the only picture that I want to share with you…I chose not to take any myself…..the credit for this one goes to my hubby.

New Me…an update…

So here we are in the middle of January and I thought I’d update on my progress. I started back at the gym properly on January 8th – and since then I’ve been six times! Visit number seven is today – I have a personal trainer but I’ve also been going on my own!

I’m not going to pretend I’ve been perfect – my eating still leaves a lot to be desired – but as a good friend said Rome wasn’t built in a day…

However there is something different in me – I want it this time. It’s very hard to put my finger on it but I feel different about it this time.

Only a brief post this morning – I’ve got to get ready to go to the gym!

Goals or Resolutions…

So I mentioned on my previous post that I have a number of goals that I want to achieve this year….however these aren’t New Years Resolutions but long term life goals.

The most important one of these is to improve my health….most of if not all of my health issues (of which there are a few) are related to my weight and to my poor eating habits.

I’m not going to tell people how much I weigh or how much I need to lose….the numbers are only really relevant to me, what I will say is that I am committed to improving my health in 2018….so I’ll be looking for support and encouragement along the way!

Anyone that knows me will know I have started many journeys and dropped off along the way – this time I want it to be different – anything I can do to improve my health is to be seen as a victory no matter how small.

It’s very easy to say ‘oh I’ve failed by eating a cake or having a glass of prosecco – so I may as well keep eating badly forever’ – and I admit I have sabotaged myself in the past with this thinking. However, I know I’m not perfect and I know that I still want to go out and enjoy myself, but I just need to eat better for the majority of the time, and then I can have the nice stuff!

So if you need to change something in your life – go for it….after all you have nothing to lose and everything to gain….